Thinking Aloud

…starts with a single step.

My supervisor has finally given me my first task. For those who die, die must know what I’m talking about:

" Calculate the K-types for the theta lift of U(p,q) to U(r,s)."

Treading excitedly and nervously.  

Haha, I survived teaching a class on the Fourier series.

When I know next to nothing about it.

Haha indeed…

My tuition students gave a Teacher’s Day card yest!

I so touched!

Back to school tomorrow.

The only difference is that I don’t get the luxury of waking up late and going back home when I feel like it. Not that’s there’s a card we need to punch in or something like that, but there are things to learn and stuff to do.

Heck, one of my lecturers has actually assigned homework liao.

Still, my stipend is conditional on my results. Slacking is definately no-no now. Getting bad grades is NOT an option anymore.  

But for the love of numbers…its well worth the hardwork and stress.  

Someone once remarked that: "If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys."

Sigh.

I’m sighing a lot nowadays.  Not that my job is incredibly stressful or particularly unpleasant. No, my supervisor is nice and so far none of the people I have surveyed have ever given me a harsh reply. All interviews were cordial.

It’s just that, compared to what other companies are paying their surveyors, I’m being paid peanuts. I just don’t know what to think. Okay, I guess I shouldn’t worry too much about the money. I know I have more than enough to use until August, and that’s when my stipend starts.  

Met up with Siew Teng jie and Andrew for lunch yesterday after church. Actually Andrew followed me to church.

Here’s the picture, FMC is in Commonwealth and ST was at Lavender. But we decided to meet up at?

Jurong Point!!

Sigh….

Today was another rather productive day. Just hope that tomorrow will be better.

Someone told me today, "Hey, you look young leh! Your first job?"

I beamed. That is the very first time some actually told me that I looked my age! Finally!! 

Today was interesting to say the least. Visited some placed which I would otherwise have no chance of stepping into.

Quite happy with the way my job is turning out. (That’s rather quick assessment for somebody who has only done it for two days)…

…but the downsides are usually failed appointments and lousy scheduling.

Well, better start learning from mistakes.  

The first day when I’ll be out doing surveys on my own. Wow, steady man. Oh well, hope everything goes well. Will update later tonight.

I’ve managed to secure a temporary job doing surveys. Not the most intelligent of jobs, but it certainly is draining physically, having to run about town conducting surveys. I’ll be dead beat by the end of the day.

Starting tomorrow. Better get good rest tonight.  

Time to hold my breath.

The deed is done, now everything hinges on God’s almighty hand. If He wills, then nothing can stop it from passing.

What is faith?

I guess faith is like love. It is beyond definition, but it is always recognizable.

For a long while I thought I had faith, that I dared to dream. But this semester I discovered that all these past three years I never went beyond myself; be it in studies, hall activities, student ministry. I played safe. I thought I was confident, but it was an illusion. A safety net constructed so that I will not have to risk failure.

But this time it is different. Failure is defined in black and white terms. There is no hiding, no way to justify, or outreason the consequences.

Do I have faith? I have learnt that I have none. True faith trusts, and one truly trusts when one is not in control.

There are things which I have no control over, and it is in these things that faith is made real.

And I know I can trust Him, because He loves me.

I’m just waiting for that spark of inspiration.

I need to write a ‘fierce’ cover letter. Dun pray pray, MNC leh, cannot sui bian, sui bian zuo…

Still waiting for my muse.

As I was looking at JobsDB.com I realized something.

Most companies that advertise there are looking for Singaporean/PR.

But I can’t become a PR unless I secure a job first!!

Isn’t this ironic…

Suddenly this feels like chicken and egg situation.

If only the Maths Department would hurry up and tell the results of my application.

Tunggu, tunggu, tunggu…leceh betul lah.

Haih….

I just got called for an interview for a teaching post I applied for in Republic Poly.

Of course I’m happy.

Do pray for me yah, would appreciate it very much. Just hope that I’ll do my best and not be too nervous. Here are the details.

Time: 1000
@: RP campus, Woodlands. Urghh….
Date: 5th April 2006.