Tidied up my room a little today. Room mate left back home. Hall is almost empty.
I feel empty too.
I feel really, really empty.
I hate it when I feel this way.
Sometimes I wish I knew, or had more insight to human behaviour. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so sensitive, sometimes I wish I had a more consistent mood.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t me…
“Okazaki. Ritsuko Okazaki. That’s my name.”
Nice album. The carefree life, taking in deep breaths as the fresh perfume of meadow winds wash over us all.
That’s how the music makes me feel.
Lovely. Simply lovely.
The police have been in the lime light for all the wrong reasons lately. Read this to get some context.
There have been comments swirling around. People are outraged (rightly) but I might add, confused.
Some say that this will affect Malaysia’s image (that’s true). Others that it Chinese nationals, and potential tourists will stay away, etc..you get the idea..it runs along the ‘tourism’ line.
I just wanna shout out: HOI!, AREN’T YOU FORGETTING SOMETHING HERE!
It’s not about the tourism lah! It’s about the poor woman, it’s about those other unnamed and unknown victims of abuse, silent and scared. The act of strip searching and performing ear squats does fulfill its purpose. But it is wrong! You do not defend a procedure just because it is in the ‘book’ or that it works.
Even if the woman (or man) was carrying drugs, this would not have been justified. It is just plain demeaning and dehumanizing. It is abuse, it does not change the fact even when called ‘procedure’.
I can only hope and pray, that justice be given to victims of police abuse (irregardless of the victim’s innocence or guilt).
It is clear reading from the reactions of everyone (public, police, MPs, etc) that they are ashamed of what happened, but confused and scrambling for the ‘reset’ button. Typical M’sian mentality: must ‘obscure’. (sweep it under the carpet).
We have forgotten what is right and wrong. ‘As long as we don’t get caught, it’s ok’, so goes the chant. It shows, how it shows in what the big guns are saying.
Lord, have mercy.
p/s Where is the voice of the M’sian church? Talk about relevance man…
To sum up,
Grad Algebra…screwed
New Media…ok lah
Complex Analysis II … ok lah
Group Theory…screwed
I really wanna shout. But..ehem…must be proper and dignified yah..
The great thing is, I can now concentrate on my thesis.
Dr M: Dearth of history books a loss to Malaysians
Wow, look who is talking. I wonder would he have said the same thing in the 1980s, when the Printing Presses Act was introduced, and then ammended.
Or would he have even said the same thing, if it was a piece of true history uncovering some shameful past of our nation’s memory.
But nevertheless, Dr. M is right. A nation is poorer because She loses her history.
Pretty nice article on beer.
Not that I’m advocating alchohol, but this one’s too good to pass up.
Benjamin Franklin once said Deus nobis cerevisiam dedit quia nos felices esse vult (”Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.”) Go forth and be happy.
Socrates once said: “If you marry a good woman, you become a happy man. If you marry a bad woman, you become a philosopher.”
Oh my…
(Though I doubt they’ll read it) …
I wish to take my hat off for our Dewan Rakyat speakers, TS Ramli Ngah and TS Lim Boon Cheng (hope I got their names right). I mean, it’s not easy chairing a parlimentary seating where both sides of the political fence are always shouting and jeering at each other.
Man, that seat is a pressure cooker. But well, a job is a job.
For obvious reasons, it is easy to give in to the overwhelming 92% majority in the Dewan. But after what I saw today, (monkey business…hehe) the speaker is trying his best to be fair lar…
Dumbledore said it best, ” This are the times where we have to choose between what is right, and what is easy.”
Haha…let me indulge myself in a short review here.
TGOF is a great offering in the Potter series. It captures the essence but not the details of the books. And this perhaps is what is lacking, the emotional flow. The editing of these scenes don’t gel well with the unfolding story. Sirius’s Black conversation with Harry is hollow, Hermione’s crush of Krum and tension between Ron is inconsequential and jars with the overall story. It’s good maybe for a few good laughs.
But no matter. Radcliffe is believable as Potter and Watson plays her role pretty well too. Ron pales though. This is not where Rupert shines.
But overall, an entertaining watch. Plenty of action and an immersive romp. Worth your time, if you are a fan.
p/s: Can anyone tell my what Michael Gambon’s problem is. He isn’t the Dumbledore I know in the book.
I must admit, I have no love for history, Malaysia or otherwise.
But history is important.
And no matter how our biased agendas colour our understanding of history, there is a reason why universities have a department of history with professional historians.
I guess it is time we respected the professionalism of these academics. After all, we have no problem trusting a doctors judgement, our maths teachers assesment or an engineers calculations. Historians are people trained to do one thing: To draw out history from the events of the past with minimal personal interference.
We certainly need more people like Prof KKK.
…and our sejarah textbooks needs urgent revision. Serious revision.
Good weather today => cleaned my fan.
Cooling day => Sleep.
Hmm…what other implications can I think of.
Friendly quiz between two whiz kids proposed
That’s the headline for an article in the Star on9 newspaper.
Cool.
A six year old going up against a nine year old. Competition brings out the best in us. I fully agree.
And on one hand, I wish Adi Putra and Yong Joo all the best in their future endeavors. Hope they will put their mathematical talents to good use.
This is probably far fetched, but can I propose a problem for these two.
Characterize all solutions (if any) of the following congruence.
a+b = ab mod (q) where q is coprime to both a and b.
Several things to thank God for.
1) The weekend.
2) The weather today.
3) E-block exam supper.
4) The fact that I am still alive and breathing. 
Ok, here’s the lowdown.
I believe the life is a struggle. We don’t need to seek for it. It just comes. Suffering, pain and struggles respect no particular practitioner of religions. Whether Muslim, Hindu or Christian, everyone struggles.
The question is to what degree and the attitudes one puts to it.
This is a poetic age. We are poets and philosophers. Some trivialize struggle, others revel in it, defining their own humanity through struggle. I guess never has one truth come across ever so clearly, and ever one generation has realized this truth:
This is the reason why there are no happy endings. Why there is no closure in all serious literature we read today. Utopia has been used too often to justify grossly manipulative doctrines of superiority that we have become too cynical. Technology has decentralized meaning; from the global, we look at the local.An utopia is no utopia at all. The absense of suffering is not equal to joy
It is interesting. When we criticize Maslow, we become Maslowian at heart, even unconsciously. We become that which we criticize. Athiests that deride Christians come closer to Christ; conversely, Christians who critize non-believers often are the furthest from God…
As Shrek so satirically put it: ” Maybe he’s compensating for something eh.”
So where do we go from here? We have tasted the waters of the desert oasis and found it bitter. We wanted the ocean, but it overwhelmed us. We wanted the stars, but it fell on us. Finally we have the Matrix, Star Wars and Harry Potter to tell us what is good and evil. We’ve decided we need a good ending after all, but only at the movies.
We have restless hearts indeed. It not a matter of which hole in our heart that needs to be filled by God. That kind of language misses the point; we are restless wanderers, the Illiad never ends…
I’ll talk about space.
It is certainly interesting finding out what people write about online. Only a few moments ago I stumbled upon a blog right here. This guy read Fukuyama (I did also, but that was a long time ago), and has an interesting post which I’ll just highlight here.
But Christians, they don’t have humanity in them. Real Christians don’t have humanity. They’re not supposed to be of this world. Humanity is a humanistic concept, a concept that was developed during the Rennaissance which focuses on the individual, personal experience as more immanent, and thus, more important than God. To be human, is to have drama and conflict, to have wants and difficulties in that want, to be foiled and to be driven into the dirt.
True Christians have no drama, they have no difficulty.
It’s only part of what he wrote, the link’s here for the full post.
This guy is on to something. But maybe I’ve lost my humanity as a Christian- if humanity is defined by struggle.
Hmm….
There’s no space to pen my thoughts fully here. I’ll do it in the next post.
I feel small.
That’s all. Ok, here’s the low down. I’ve gotten used to the fact that nobody ever (except IMO contestants) finishes a maths paper in 2 1/2 hours. It’s normal. So I don’t feel all that bad. Besides, the paper is weighted at 50 %.
I’m talking about Grad Algebra.
I want to sleep now. Sobs…
A bog, a smelly bog.
Yuck.
Tomorrows the start of the exams for me.
In sequence.
MA5203: Graduate Algebra I
NM1101E: New Media
MA4247: Complex Analysis II
MA 4204: Group Theory
Ok, you see the right columns are blank and their supposed to be filled with grades, which better be good man! I worked hard…
Did I?
There is a famous dilemma one studies in game theory. The Prisoners Dilemma. Google it, it’s not hard to find what’s it about.
Dilemma’s are dilemma’s because choices are not cut and dried. Sometimes it is equally possible to justify either choice validly and yet at the same time, each choice is incompatible with the other.
Sigh…
I have been perusing LKS’s blog quite regularly now. Amongst the many issues that he blogs about, the foremost must certainly concern tertiary education in Malaysia.
The context in which secular assumptions come into play is the recent controversy over IIUM’s ruling about headscarfs (tudung). The Opposition comes to one side of the argument with the assumptions that there should be no coercion in matters of the faith. This sentiment is not universally shared however. There cannot be genuine progress until there is a shared set of beliefs between both sides. What’s worse is that in this issue, there is no win-win situation or compromise available. Morally speaking, there is no compulsion for non-Muslims to wear the headscarf, but this is precisely where the IIUM Senate disagrees.
Somebody gonna lose this fight, and that’s what makes this kind of situation so tacky.
But this is only a specific example. One can move to a more overarching viewpoint.
Fundamental to the machinery of tertiary education in Malaysia must certainly be this unspoken mantra:
I am the teacher and you are the pupil, therefore you must listen to whatever I say
The academicians demand respect, but do not earn it. The academicians demand trust, but do not give the benefit of doubt. No wonder there is so much angst and frustration among local graduates. Deep inside they know that morally they should be treated like adults, but are not getting it. So they become petty people as witnessed during the recent student representative elections. Like kampung boys with new toys to play with…
Bought an EMI production, the Mass in B minor by JC Bach. Otto Klemperer was conducting, and that was the real draw.
Really, it is a beautiful work. In fact, I find it hard to rank which is better: The Messiah or this?
What say you?
There have been several interesting incidents/ issues that have brought to the fore the failure of leadership (in general) in Malaysia.
1) The IIUM injuction for non-Muslim students to don the tudung. The Cabinet has come up with a resolution stating that non-Muslim students are encouranged but never to be coerced to do so. The IIUM Senate however ‘managed’ enforce it for the convocation ceremony.
2) The Penang Chief Minister YB Koh Tsu Kun gently asked for a review of the teaching of maths and science in english. However, the PM later responded by asking that the issue be put to rest, to avoid ‘public confusion’ over the matter. The YB was sorely criticized.
3) The Drop. UM’s THES ranking falling from 89th to 160+th position caused much concern. The PM was rightly dissappointed. However, the VC of UM seems to have gotten away with planting billboards celebrating this dubious achievement. Nobody (except the Opposition) stood up to censure this.
These currently are the recent happenings. The show one thing, the culture of ‘face’ and patriarchalism is dragging Malaysia down. Because leaders have such a big ego to protect, they are blind to their own mediocrity and insensitivity.
It is tough to be the right man doing the right thing when the moment demands it. But, Lord have mercy on Malaysia. I tremble…
Exploring a Parallel Universe - Christianity Today Magazine
Reflecting on our conversation, I remembered a remark by Lewis, who drew a distinction between communicating with a society that hears the gospel for the first time and one that has embraced and then largely rejected it. A person must court a virgin differently than a divorcée, said Lewis. One welcomes the charming words; the other needs a demonstration of love to overcome inbuilt skepticism.
-Phillip Yancey
Great insights here. Go read the article on CT.
I think more and more, away from the rhetoric and slogans, Christian students should spend what precious time they have to do serious thinking on this question:
What has Christ really commanded us to do on this side of eternity?
The manner, the answers and the amount of serious thinking one puts into wrestling with the question above will show in later life. In whether one procreates the tired rhetoric of our fathers or allows the Holy Spirit to renew our mind.
The first one was taken after class. The latter in a pizza bar somewhere in Holland V.
Just came back from an awesome dinner at Holland V. Who says maths lecturers are cold and distant. (I feel bad) but Dr. Chin ‘treated’ us for dinner at a pizza parlour. Had an enjoyable time with class mates. Probably will be putting up class photos once I have compiled them all.
This has been a blessed semester indeed.
When I had just finished STPM, there was talk about me taking up acturial science in UKM. I would have been an underwriter if I had journeyed that path.
But the question I would ask myself is this: Would I have enjoyed what I was studying?
I certainly love pure mathematics. But that does not mean I would not have enjoyed statistical science. After all, I was quite good at doing statistics in Maths Lanjutan (further maths). It certainly is interesting how things have turned out. If I had stayed back in Malaysia, how different would I be as a person as compared to now?
There is no talk about security, because graduation will always put people into the crossroads. I do not believe in iron rice bowls. In any discipline, hard work is nesscesary (and a little luck). But I guess wisdom is paramount. A sober estimation of one’s own abilities is the mark of adulthood, I guess.
Acturial science is a dead dog’s dream now. There is no chance of me travelling down that path. So don’t even mention it in my face.
What’s more interesting is how my Master’s application will turn out and how well I will do in the coming exams. Those are the two focal points right now.
*back to studying, must stop counting chickens*
It is really hard to, in the immortal words of our Saviour, die to self.
In fact it is impossible. ” How hard is it for those who are rich to enter the kingdom of God.”
To which His (and I daresay we) ask: ” Who then Lord, can be saved?”
After three years here in NUS, I have come to realize the amount of pride and ignorance in me. My gifts do not amount to anything, and it really takes stepping aside to see all my faults and shortcomings.
The straight and narrow road is narrow indeed. But we walk with our saviour, hence nothing is there to fear. He leads, he leads.
I am at a crossroads in life. A very serious crossroad.
Swan beauty, majestically floating down the stream.
Ain’t it pretty.
Ok that’s about swans, but now to serious stuff.
1) The holy grail of contemporary pure mathematics is the so called Langlands programme. Much exciting development is happening here.
2) This is a field comprising number theory, automorphic forms, class field theory, algebraic geometry and the super power mathematics that undergraduates only dream about understanding.
3) This is the field of research that I hope to immerse myself into.
4) Therefore, I need to work hard.
5) And hopefully, God opens doors…
I’m treating God like Santa Claus now, 
How low can I get….
To all my readers who are still undergraduates in the pressure-cooker that is NUS.
Good luck and God bless for your examinations. May your CAP rise like leaven bread so that we can all pop champagne when Christmas comes.
Small silent voice: Wahlau, lame leh you….
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